“You’re going to have to move me to emergency contact only. Something’s come up.”
Helping Morgan and Aunt Shionne tally up the class weapons by number and condition, Alan glanced at Tiburon. The swordsman stalked the gym, phone gripped in a carefully gentle hand, and rolled green eyes at whoever was on the other end, patiently miffed. Either whoever he was talking to was being deliberately thick, or Tiburon couldn’t figure out how Tyler had managed to bend a spearhead into a corkscrew either. Even with magical electrical shark-eel arc welding involved.
“No, nothing like that mess with the leeches… look, Simon needs me.” Tiburon paused, toes tapping the repaired floor. “What do you mean, which Simon? How many Simons have stripped you to your skivvies in poker and free climbing- Yes, of course he was cheating, you said you knew how to cheat better. So no, you don’t want to get involved. This is Simon. You remember the last time you met Simon, don’t you?”
From the way Aunt Shionne had just clapped her hands over Morgan’s ears, and the girl herself was hiding a mortified giggle, yes, whoever was on the other end definitely did.
Tiburon scowled at the phone. “What do you mean, is he still alive, of course he’s – no, he’s not in jail! No, it’s nothing like- oh, ha-bloody-ha. Yes, he’s crazy. But you know perfectly well he’s still in charge of his school, and he’s completely responsible with his students… no. No, you stop laughing right now, damn it. He is responsible. That’s why I’m going to be less available. They need my help and I’m going to be busy teaching.” A darker scowl. “That is none of your business. They’re teenagers. And I have a nondisclosure agreement.” Tiburon hmphed. “Yes, one that’s not yours. They make films, for goodness’ sake! If I leak details before something’s officially released, I won’t get to play here anymore.”
Crossover Queen's Creative Chaos 
That last line is so Tiburon, it hurts. Nice job on the humor. Also, Simon is a legend in his own right(If you do the Stargate crossover after this, I can just imagine Jack asking “Why does a washed up actor get his own file?”)
Also, the mind boggles at a spear head turned into a corkscrew.
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Far as the spear goes – no, I don’t know how the kids did it either. 😉
Thanks! I owe a lot to tossing ideas with my beta-readers, the better to drive the story to heights of insanity. 😉
Simon being a legend – yes. Yes he is. I’m sure there’s some poor FBI/ Homeland Security/ NSA guy who’s sure Simon’s up to _something,_ he just can’t figure out what! After all, he’s seen all kinds of odd places, and attracts the weirdest people… (Shades of the Crocodile Hunter movie, yes.)
As for the SGC – I suspect _someone_ is going to notice a heat pulse at a much later point in the story. Not in time to do anything about it, but definitely going to be Suspicious. 😉
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Wait this is going ta be a SG cross? Cool.
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Not in this story! In later ones, very possibly. I had to promise the bunnies something _really good_ – read, what the rest of us would call probably borderline insane – to get through NaNo.
…Still working on Rama, oy, epics, why me…. *Wry G*
When it comes to Stargate – well, the bunnies have _issues_ with the Ancients supposedly being the “builders of the Roads”… and speaking Latin. Leaving aside the whole “Um, Latin’s only been around since about 1500 BC, max, and the Ancients’ language is over a million years old” – the ancient Celts would like to mention they built those roads first, thank you….
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Well, if suddenly a proto-Latin is older than Egyptian or agriculture, obviously it is a time travel thing. I kept trying to make it at least proto-IE, but it was so Latiny!
And actually, proto-Celts are not that old, either. You can maybe argue for those Turanian guys living on the steppe who were fairhaired and had plaid stuff, but….
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Gah, time travel. The SF equivalent of “A Wizard Did It”. Dr. Who did it right; the mess of time-travel shenanigans around SG ‘verse makes the bunnies want to hide.
And yes, exactly! The proto-Celts aren’t old enough either – but we know, historically, they made the roads. Which means Ancient as a variant of Latin… oy. 🙂
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For as much as I’m loving this story it’s funny that the main question in my head after this snippet was, “Who is he an emergency contact for?” (yes I know it’s probably for some of those students that don’t exist, but now I’m really curious about them. And I can’t help but wonder if any of them are associated with some FBI weirdness tackling team, or the SGC, or maybe some of Archangel’s people…)
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It’s definitely the students who don’t exist. 😉 Who are an odd mix of various agency operatives, SF, supposed mercenaries, and who knows what else. Some of them may even be British. You never know.
The bunnies say it’s not so much that people call Tiburon to come help kill something or rescue them (although they’re quite clear that HAS happened). It’s more that he’s 1) someone people can call when they need a message/very odd supply request to go through and can’t get it through ordinary channels, and 2) someone distinctly not fragile who is not a shrink and doesn’t ask stupid questions, so if a guy near-vibrating from a mission needs to wind down and get drunk there’s a semi-responsible person there to keep innocent bystanders from getting hurt.
I strongly suspect this is how he met Malachy; our taciturn MacLea saw Tiburon was acting as wingman to a guy a little too close to the edge, and helped Tiburon get out of the ensuing biker bar brawl in more-or-less one piece. *G*
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Sorry to jump in on the conversation, but would this be how Tiburon knows that the Malachy version of “okay” includes “we only need to bust up a whole biker bar to get out of here”? [grins]
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That’d most likely be it, yep. 😉
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You know, it wouldn’t be too weird for Kenshin from “Spin Cycle” to be a nodding acquaintance of either Tiburon, the Malachys, and/or Simon/Jafar. He is a trouble magnet and keeps finding new BAMFs in the oddest places and then promptly befriends them.
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*Wry G* It’s a nice thought, but there is no way – no way – that I’m crossing Around into the Urban Legends ‘verse. I think it would break my brain!
Besides. Godzilla exists in the UL ‘verse. (Along with many, many other monsters!) And that’d mean Ja’far would have already pulled his spell on Simon, and we’re Not Going There.
…Of course, the SGC does have those quantum mirrors….
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Just make it a nightmare Jafar has after reading some fanfic his students highly recommended. We know there are online archives of such in your canon. It would be hilarious if you have someone go “oro” behind Jafar and he nearly throws a knife at them.
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*Cackles* Phaenomena’s revenge is dropping fanfics in Ja’far’s inbox?
Simon (Quite possibly holding onto a struggling ex-assassin trying to forget the ex part.): “Don’t react. You’ll only encourage her.”
“I wasn’t planning to react! I was planning on emailing her current location to one of Tiburon’s sparring partners. Let’s see how she likes getting dragged out of airplanes….”
Ah, the chaos. 😉
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Yay for beta readers, in any case. (Hard to find, but so worth it.)
And while I’ve been enjoying the Princess Rama, I don’t know enough to comment on it, but it’s clear you’re putting a lot of work in it.
Poor Ja’far…though he really should be careful that they’re actually sent by her rather then Simon(Hey, he has to get back for the massive trolling somehow).
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Beta readers are worth their weight in chocolate! 🙂
If you want the bare bones of the epic, I recommend the “Rama: The Legend” graphic novel. Hits most of the high points with a minimum of odd digressions and bloodshed.
And I do mean minimum. Hanuman vs. Kumbhakarna takes about 1 page. It’s a very elegant page, though. 🙂
There’s also at least one 2-hour animated movie version of the epic on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAM9x_GF9VY
And then I read parts of the epic in translation (Valmiki’s version – there are _several versions_ of the Ramayana) and Hanuman’s not the one who takes down the giant at the end… but given the mess that leads up to Kumbhakarna going down, I decided it’s much better to make it so for clarity and dramatic tension.
There are a lot of incidents like that. “Epic”. As in, shake a battlefield and a million corpses drop out of it. Oy. I’m scaling some things down a lot – more to the level of heroic fantasy. *G*
And don’t worry about Ja’far too much. Simon’s going to be busy enough trolling reporters…. 😉
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Now do they make sure that no newbie reporters have to deal with Simon? Just to cut down on the reporters that come back completely confused and befuddled….then again he is a movie guy I’m sure he’s perfectly capable of behaving himself around reporters….on the rare occasion. I’m loving Simon in this fic. He’s so entertaining ^^. (I am really enjoying the Rama snippets; it’s just the What Comes Around snippets that get me bouncing in my seat.)
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*Snrk* There are usually a limited number of reporters in any one city. By now most of the locals probably have encountered Simon. For better or worse.
Glad you like the stories! Planning to post all of ch 10 of Around on AO3 New Year’s.
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