What Comes Around Ch 21 bit – Dignity

“True dignity comes from within,” Simon said grandly. “I admit, clothes help.”

“You say that like you have dignity,” Ja’far snorted.

Well, point. “True dignity comes from not caring about it?” Simon tried.

“One word,” Ja’far declared. “Leaves.”

Erk. “Not in front of a child, Ja’far!”

Ja’far choked on a laugh. “Oh, now you mind. You do remember that story about Artemyra, a certain pleasure quarter, and getting pitched naked into a canyon?”

He remembered more than just the story now, Simon realized, wincing at images of a month spent living off snakes and wearing nothing but handy greenery. Oh, he was never going to live this down. “You were older!”

“Not by that much-” Ja’far tensed, as both Malachy and Morgan stiffened. “What?”

“Scents changed,” Malachy said darkly, as everyone gathered together around the carpet with something pointy facing out.

“Not decay,” Morgan added, staring at the bodies. “Something… different.”

“Oh,” Matt said faintly, as flesh and bone seemed to quiver, and sink. “Ew.”

“Off the floor, off the floor good,” Tiburon urged, as everyone scrambled away from leaking fluids. “Phaenomena, sit your alchemist up, we need room for everyone….”

Simon didn’t need to think twice before leaping up onto floating cloth with the rest of them. He had read the Horror Movie Survival list.

And anything brewed up in a lab with this much dark rukh could poison everything it touches. Even without radioactivity.

“You know,” Simon observed, gripping Drakon’s hand to steady himself as everyone tried to fit in without falling off, “this reminds me of that bit in Lavaconda where the man-eating lava-snakes turn out to be actually protecting Earth from the invading alien slime-”

Blue-green and glowing violet, pools of fetid protoplasm sent out threads and pseudopods. Where two threads met, the colors blended into something even more neon and evil, smaller masses lurching and squirming to meet the larger.

Tiburon raised his sword, completely deadpan. “You just had to give it ideas, didn’t you.”

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16 thoughts on “What Comes Around Ch 21 bit – Dignity

  1. …And Then Simon Opened His Mouth: An Autobiography by Ja’far Zvezdilin

    Seriously, I’m laughing my head off here. Mostly by picturing Phaenomena and Callimachus’s faces. Between being rescued by their former targets (which include a movie star and teenagers, critical hit to the ego) and the banter, their brains must be breaking. Although, on second glance, Callimachus may be unconscious. Phaenomena will have to get even. Maybe by writing for Ao3 and forcing him to proofread her fics 😈

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  2. Yes, Simon needs more practice not tempting Murphy.

    To be fair to Simon, even when he isn’t tempting Murphy he tends to get into Murphy situations . . .

    On one hand, probably glad that he doesn’t remember the really bad parts through I think he kinda of wishes he didn’t remember the embarrassing parts either. Hearing the story about the Fig Leaf Incident is one thing. Remembering it is something else.

    Through maybe it’s comforting to know that his life, this one and the previous, has always been a long series of noddle incidents?

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      1. >>I’m not actually sure it was a fig leaf. Would be wiser if it weren’t. They have irritating hairs and sap, and…>>

        “Which was something I learned AFTER I used the fig leaves.”

        >>okay, bunnies, TMI….>>

        Bunnies are like that . . .

        But let’s remember that this is the same guy (technically) who wound up with catcus spines in a very tender place (in a if it was anyone else I wouldn’t believe this story moment).

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  3. Callimachus is totally “Phaenomena’s alchemist,” and she’d like to thank the Shays not to harm what’s HERS. Though, does she realize she’s with myths at this point, or will there be careful blinking later. (More than blinking, probably, when Calimachus wakes up and puts the pieces together. One reborn god is bad, but two and their people? Eep.)

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      1. So she knows they’ve got ancient magic swords, but does our neutral evil duo know they were there, more or less?

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  4. >>Vathara: Yep. *EG* So, who knows? However the original leaf incident also had Ja’far involved, so he might have picked nontoxic leaves….>>

    My bunnies propose that while Ja’far was doing something elsewhere in the canyon, Sinbad decided he needed fresh leaves and hadn’t paid close attention to which leaves Ja’far had picked out . . .

    Cue Ja’far face-palming (because I doubt he only just started doing that this lifetime in response to Sinbad / Simon’s antics) after he returns and discovers his whimpering king. He also starts muttering to himself “Why did I choose to follow this idiot again?”

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