What Comes Around Ch 22 bit – Parental Revenge

“D’awww.” Simon leaned back against the minivan, grinning, as Aladdin fell to the grass in a paired pounce attack. “It’s like having our own little tiger cubs.”

“Siberian tigers,” Ja’far said, half under his breath, almost leaning against Simon’s side.

Malachy eyed the pair of them – so close yet so far – and cast Tiburon an arched brow. They ought to get over it and cuddle already.

“Not everyone’s comfortable with a Red Lion’s level of skin contact,” the swordsman said practically. “Especially with Hollywood the way it is these days. Everyone assumes touching implies sex. No wonder you wanted out of there, Simon. When it comes to the important things, you’re sane.”

Simon blinked. “I’m honestly torn between, ‘Of course’, and, ‘How dare you call me sane?’

“You are,” Malachy said steadily. “Didn’t need me out here to watch you play with lightning. What do you want?”

Simon let out a deep sigh, fingers drumming against painted steel. “Help. You’re a father. I’m… not. At least not anytime soon. Alan and Aladdin – they’re very mature, very willing to take care of themselves. But this world’s more complicated than Balbadd, and they deserve someone willing to be a good parent.” He shrugged, honestly rueful. “I’m not asking you to take the job! You’ve got three wild cubs of your own, and damn it, I volunteered. But I could really use advice.”

Malachy thought that over. Nodded once. “First rule. Most important. Love them.”

“That’s not hard,” Simon reflected.

“Wait until they descale a fish right in the middle of your income tax,” Malachy advised. “Second? Very simple. Never tell them to do something you know they won’t do.”

“Okay, so it’s a bit like being a director,” Simon said, half to himself. “Which can be highly satisfying at the end of the week, but in between times you’d rather be fighting a dragon. I think I may meep.”

Malachy smirked. “Third. Never assume. Never. When you find them with the car upside-down in a creek, ten gang members smashed through the walls, or a whole bison gutted to roast on the front lawn, the first thing they’ll say is, ‘But you didn’t say we couldn’t.’”

“But that’s- um. Er….”

“Long story short,” Ja’far said with great relish, “just imagine what you got into as a kid. And add magic.”

“Oh.” Simon blinked, a little pale. “So that’s what Dad meant.”

Malachy arched a curious brow.

“He always said, ‘I hope you have a dozen kids just like you’.”

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16 thoughts on “What Comes Around Ch 22 bit – Parental Revenge

  1. All those incidents Malachy mentioned make me wonder if that was stuff he did as a kid or stuff his boys and/or Morgan pulled off.
    As for Simon, next time he see’s his Dad, he should give him a hug. Make that alot of hugs. ( I just watched the Sinbad anime yesterday and am still recovering from the feels.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I would not be at all surprised if Malachy and co did all of the above.

      And yes. Lots and lots of hugs. Because this time around they get to have a lot more time. Simon’s going to appreciate that, very much.

      …I want to see that anime. And I want manga, hope they put it out in English!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Ah the parent’s curse. *grins*

    And people never realize that you can still be hit by it even when you don’t have any children that biologically yours.

    Well, another King and his Household should be good practice for Simon’s biological offspring, should he ever decide to have them. Through part of me thinks that for some, the idea of Simon procreating will make them want to flee from the planet in terror.

    Or at least have this reaction:
    Future Person A: “That guy is a father?!”
    *looks horrified*
    Another Person B: “Oh you don’t know the half of it. He also stepped up into the parent role for a couple of teenagers some years ago – which reminds, has anyone warned you about Alan yet? No? Okay, I’ll tell you about him in a minute – AND has been school principal for longer than that.”
    Person A: “He runs a school?!”
    Person B: “Technically several schools. Start off as a high school and things escalated from there.”
    Person A: “Why would anyone let him run a school?”
    Person B: “I’m told that it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

    His parents might have put Simon on hold to laugh hysterically after he calls them.

    But at least Simon is self-aware to know, “I don’t know what I are doing! Help!”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Parental curses are the most effective! I can only imagine what Simon got into before self-preservation kicked in a little…

      *Snrk* I think by the time Simon has kids, our heroes will be inured to everything up to and possibly including threatened planetary destruction. Kids aren’t about to destroy the planet? Good, we can handle this….

      *Cackles* I love how put it as schools “escalating from there”.

      And yes. One good thing about what memories of Sinbad Simon did stir up, is he can now compare and contrast the messes he got into before and after Sinbad lost his parents and Rurumu started pounding manners and literacy into his head, and the job Althea and Barney did raising him. He may have a bit of a cold sweat realizing how badly some things in his past could have gone!

      Yes. Asking for help if you’re panicked, never a bad idea. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hah – on parental curses, my mother’s favorite for me was, “I hope you have TWINS!” Seems kind of like what Simon’s got himself into, here.

        Like

  3. Now I’m thinking of that “Treat me as you would your own son” comment from that Alibaba-Sinbad conversation over shellphone. That’s what happens when you manipulate people! Karma happens to make you feel bad about it millennia later. XD

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the cuddling comment. Simon and Ja’far really DO need to just cuddle… I trust that they’ll get there soon. Even if (maybe especially if?) Malachy has to intervene. Which he would end up doing in a very straight forward way, as befitting of a Fanalis. Maybe he’d just pick Ja’far up while they’re sleeping and make sure they’re cuddling when they wake up.

    Because seriously, those two are so married. Platonically married, but still so very married. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I can see it now…
        Student A: Wow, that girl is super cute! A little young, but she’ll be at Hancock next year! I gotta get to know her better….
        Student B: Dude, no. Please stop.
        Student A: C’mon, what’s the worst thing that could happen? (To Ja’far’s sister) Hey new girl! What’s your name?
        Girl: Svitlana Zvezdilin.
        Student A: (gapes in open mouthed horror)
        Student B: I tried to warn you man!
        Student A: Ahahahaha, c’mon, there’s no harm in asking for her name, right? Now we know, and knowledge is power! Ahahahahahaha…
        Svitlana: Don’t worry, I won’t tell my brother!
        Student A: (oh god help me it’s worse than I thought) That’s very nice of you!
        Svitlana: …because he’s right behind you.
        (cue death glare)
        Student A: OH GOD RUN! (Grabs B and flees, screaming like a little girl)
        Student B: I AM NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN, YOU DAMN IDIOT!!!
        Svitlana: Big brother, that was mean…
        Ja’far: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now giving them both detentions for screaming, swearing, and running in the halls, THAT would be mean. (Clicks open pen, pulls out notebook, and starts writing down infractions)
        Svitlana: I’m never going to go on a date, am I?
        Ja’far: Don’t be silly! Someday you will be an adult, and free to make your own decisions!
        Svitlana: Yeah, when I’m what, thirty? (Sighs) guess I’ll just have to find someone you can’t intimidate.
        Ja’far: good luck with that.
        Svitlana: …challenge accepted.
        Ja’far: I was joking…
        Svitlana: I wasn’t! (Notices a flash of blue hair in the crowd) Hey, is that Aladin? Hey, wait up!
        Ja’far: Oh no…

        Liked by 2 people

  5. @ToxicSunrise, Re: Ja’far vs Student Body, Subject Dating His Little Sister

    After Svitlana has scurried after Aladdin and co. Ja’far hears some very familiar and barely stifled laughter. He turns and gives the offenders his best glare. It doesn’t seem to be having the desired effect. In fact, it turns the laughter from stifled to outright.
    Ja’far: “Laugh it up. Just know that there will be a reckoning for your amusement at my expense.”
    Exit Ja’far.
    Simon: “He’s going to be vicious in the next sparring session.”
    Drakon: “Going to be?”
    Simon: “Okay, more vicious than usual.”
    Sharrkan: *blood knight grin* “Sounds like fun.”
    Malachy: *nods*

    Liked by 2 people

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