There are some ideas that should never see the light of day. Ever.
You know the ones I’m talking about. The crackfic bunnies. The absurd, or too emotionally painful, or just plain “That really wouldn’t work.” The ones that ambush you out of nowhere when you are too tired and should really just go to bed. The ones that stick in your head, regardless, and mock you. Like a bunch of teenagers around the hyena enclosure. (Buffy fans know exactly which one – yes, that level of predatory evil.) Never mind that they might just be a setup for a bad joke, never mind that you only know half the fandoms and you don’t want to put in the effort for the others, never mind that you know you couldn’t do justice to X kind of story. They’re there. Hanging out in your headspace. Keeping you awake at oh-dark-hundred. They’re evil.
I’ll toss you a few of the utterly ridiculous that have ambushed me over the past few months.
Aliens/Ubel Blatt: Would only be moderately amusing, in that the UB world characters would scarcely blink at the Xenomorphs. They’d just scream “Wischtech monster!” and proceed to Kill It With Fire.
They’d win, too. Especially Koinzell. I suspect those Black Swords would be very acid-resistant.
Magi/Sing(movie) crossover: Zepar in the singing contest.
…Oh, the horror, the horror…. Although I suspect Ja’far would be secretly amused.
Stargate SG-1/Magi canon: Oh man, this would be a disaster. I could just barely see it as possible if the Magi world were one the Goa’uld didn’t know about – if they did, they’d probably try to kill the planet! But the main problem would be, how do you come up with a plot that lets SG-1 have equal time with a bunch of people who can toss around Djinn Equip? Ack.
Star Wars/Magi: Again, ack. Although I figured out ways to explain both Djinn and Dark Djinn in that ‘verse (look up Derriphan for some ideas on Dark Djinn analogs, eep), Djinn Warriors and Magi… really don’t fit the power level of Jedi/Sith equation. They’re both too powerful, and there are far too few of them, to really fit as Force-using types. Drat. Because Sinbad and co as smugglers would fit so well!
Mind, if anyone does figure out a way to pull these various ideas off, let me know. I want to read!