Saiyuki bunny – Worst Jedi Ever VII

Part of why Sanzo survives is that Kouryuu was being hunted for the Sutra before Order 66. So he already had experience avoiding beings intent on savage mayhem. It will still be tricky, as the youkai were trying to dodge regular attention and the Empire definitely is not.

Gojyo: “So, what – it’s not just the alien crazies anymore, we have to dodge a whole Empire?”
Hakkai looks innocent. Mostly. “Is this is a surprise?”
Gojyo: Eyes Sanzo, robes and all. “Nope. Not one bit.”

Sanzo would be trying to figure out what Order 66 was, and who planted it in the clones’ heads. But… I can’t see him going after Palpatine directly. That way lies painful and fruitless death. At least, without a lot of planning.

He’d also be dealing with a bit of identity shock. Kouryuu may have been the worst Jedi ever, but he was a Jedi. Sanzo… is not.

Along with trying to deal with that (and Hakkai’s far too cheerful acceptance of the new situation), Sanzo would be trying to figure out what might give any Jedi survivors a fighting chance. “Something that we can do without getting too close, given they’d freak out and think we’re Sith. Which we are not.”
Gojyo: “We’re not?”

*Thwap.*

Sanzo (still brandishing fan): “Do I have to go over the ‘Shadow, not Dark’ bit with you again? I thought we settled this with Hakkai!”
Goku: “Aw, don’t give him a hard time about it. Keeping it all straight’s hard. He just needs to know who to hit, anyway.”
Gojyo: (Glaring at a certain monkey.) “I’m not as stupid as you are, monkey!”

…Cue “Monkey”/ “Kappa” argument. Again.

Hakkai: “My, my. Well, at least it keeps them from worrying?”
Sanzo (Facepalms): “By this time I can recite it in my sleep….”

22 thoughts on “Saiyuki bunny – Worst Jedi Ever VII

  1. The more you write about these lunatics (and Sanzo), the more I want them and the Flying Thantas to meet up and then run into the rebellion. Poor little rebel’s brains would go ‘Pop’.

    Particularly those that ‘know’ how Jedi are supposed to act from the pre-Empire days and expect them to fall in line with the rebellion.

    Because I suspect this misfit Force users.being a bit wary about this ‘Alliance to Restore the Republic’ and it’s eventual goals.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. “Who? Us? Jedi? Nope, we’re a flying circus/group of samurai/bunch of morons following a jerk of a priest. Nothing to see here, move along….”

      And if there happens to be mass chaos, impossible feats, and oddly healed people left in their wake… it’s a big galaxy, who knows what might have happened? Certainly not them. They’re just as clueless as anyone else. Yep!

      Liked by 5 people

    2. >“Who? Us? Jedi? Nope, we’re a flying circus/group of samurai/bunch of morons following a jerk of a priest. Nothing to see here, move along….” >
      And for some reason all the people Mon Mothma sends to try and convince the groups to join the Righteous Cause(tm) end up being found in weird places doing even weirder things.

      Sanzo: “What, you thought the Empire had the monopoly on weak-minded idiots?”

      Hakkai: “I do wish you’d let me make some of the ‘suggestions’. The message they return with would most likely convince her to back off for a longer period or permanently.” *EG*

      *Thwap.*

      Sanzo: “I saw that grin. No.”

      Liked by 5 people

    3. I’ve always seen the Flying Thantas as a group who absolutely would not join the Rebelion (see above mentioned trust issues) but would not not join it either (this is a group made largely of people who found themselves in a Situation in which Something Must Be Done and then went and Did Stuff. Often violently and all over the place, but if it works don’t knock it.) I like the idea of them offering to aid the rebellion in exchange for payment. Largely because it might result in this conversation:
      “You won’t do this without credits?”
      “Well, it doesn’t have to be credits. We’re open to bargaining. Our mechanic has been going on and on about something she absolutely has to have and, honestly, it just sounds like a glorified wrench to me, but if the lady wants it-”
      “I thought you supported our ideals! What happened to that?”
      “We do support your ideals. That’s why we’re open to bargaining.”

      Liked by 4 people

  2. Seems like there’s a higher chance of the Flying Thantas twigging on to it being more than decoration much quicker and without the zombie uprising of river of stars than any ‘normal’ rebel.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I wonder if the Monkey / Kappa argument is almost like white noise. He doesn’t really hear hear it after the opening bars (and after his mind does “Serious this time and I need to break it up before it gets ugly or just the usual nonsense?” check) . . . . through he notices it whenever they haven’t done it in over a day.

    They probably don’t have tee shirts in this universe but maybe in one of them, someone can get Hakkai the tee shirt reading “Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My job here is done.”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Maybe it can be written on the door of his room on whatever tramp freighter they end up crusing the galaxy in after Order 66. (Because no matter how small the ship is, Sano and Hakkai will always have their own little spaces to get away from the group and meditate)

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Don’t tell Kanzeon. Ze will absolutely give the party those shirts and MAKE them wear them. Or just use some divinity class superglue to fasten some signs reading such onto their backs.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. I’m assuming the first time ze sends them beyond SGC on Earth ze packs said shirts and insists on hir four idjits wearing them.

        Liked by 2 people

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