Monstrous Compendium Ch4 bit – Troll

A/N: Because Kirito so is. Canon.


“She’s a legend.” Tae shrugged, like any fan trying to pretend that no, they really didn’t want to get their hands on a limited edition. “So is Vincent. You saw how my family looked when Klein said Fuurinkazan was on his quest. How did you ever meet him?” She couldn’t hide a little bounce this time. “Some monster? A flood threatening a village? Oh, maybe it was a necromancer….”

He shouldn’t. He really, really shouldn’t, Kirito told himself firmly, as Tae’s speculation rambled on. Fuurinkazan thought they knew him. But most people seemed to find his sense of humor a little… odd.

Well, except for Argo. Who wasn’t exactly known for leaving people laughing. More, ‘throttle that know-everything if it’s the last thing I do….’

Oh. And maybe Asuna. Though she was just as likely to drag him through town by the coat collar as giggle. And people wondered why he stayed out of towns?

“I mean, that was Vincent Valentine. It had to be something world-shaking, but I didn’t hear anything about it from the Guides, or the boss planning meetings-”

…Why did he think Vincent would find her gleeing just as annoying as he did?

Oh well. Maybe she won’t believe the truth. “Second-level quest,” Kirito shrugged.

“Gurk.”

Worth it. So worth it.

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23 thoughts on “Monstrous Compendium Ch4 bit – Troll

  1. I think what makes that best is how casually he seeps it out from under her. He mentions that it was a second level quest. But there are some nasty quests at lower levels, at least in terms of what’s required of the player.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sometimes fan-boying / girling does need to be derailed. Besides being possibly annoying to the person being fanned at, most people after they realize that they just squeed and gushed over a total (but famous) stranger are kinda to very embarrassed by their behavior. Like blush and Oh god I cannot believe I just squeed and fangirled (boyed) in front of God and everybody . . . . if you forget the last two minutes or so that would be lovely . . .

    At least Kirito has a sense of humor, if a slightly odd one. But senses of humor can be quite varied. Especially since people often use it as a coping mechanism. I won’t be surprised when (and if – because that is shaping up to be complicated. Because Kayaba. And dragons. And Murphy. Mustn’t forget Murphy . . .) they managed to get back home, if some people found some of the survivors’ sense of humor rather morbid. Or not understand how they can possibly be cracking wise when something terrible has just happened . . .

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Part of me thinks part of his amusement might stem from watching people trying to figure out why ketchup bottles?!

        And if they should just ask? And when he asks what they think about his hoarde, impressive isn’t it, them struggle to come up with something to say . . . something that won’t offend said dragon because most people are too sane to be rude to a dragon.

        Meanwhile said dragon is trying not to laugh in their faces and spoil the joke. But it’s so difficult . . . just the looks on their faces . . .

        Might be completely off track but that’s what the bunnies just pictured. If nothing else, please enjoy the crack imagery.

        Liked by 4 people

      2. Hey take a look at some of the things humans can make giant collections of. Broken ketchup bottles isn’t that odd.

        As long as the dragon sees some value in the object he will be perfectly willing to hoard it, whether or not it’s ‘mainstream’.

        Liked by 3 people

      3. Quite. Doing so otherwise is asking for trouble. More trouble.

        But everywhere has idiots. People who don’t seem to realize that being rude to the huge magical flying lizard can shorten your life span dramatically. Very dramatically.

        And you might find a occasional dragon that doesn’t mind a little attitude as long as you remember who’s boss.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. … I like your joke. (I like it a lot actually.) But when you first mentioned that, about a dragon and their hoard…

        All I could think was something I read in a Sailor Moon AU fic once. The author was excellent, in my opinion, but preferred a certain kind of…

        I like Purple Prose. You hit it just right and there’s suddenly not a whole lot of difference between a passage and a poem. And everyone loves taking those classic poems that are pretty and meaningful and so often sad and breaking down how they’re brilliant because the author fits so much meaning into artsy turns of phrase, or how they convey that meaning without ever stating it outright.

        But if it’s in a book? Or a fan fic? It feels like the first response I hear when I try to share a passage I enjoy is ridiculed. Only the Great American Novelists are allowed to write like that, and even they get poked fun at for it. But you can tell when someone writes like that from parody. You can also tell when they write like that because they think they’re supposed to.

        Or when they’re trying so hard to communicate the beauty they can see but can’t quite say.

        I’m getting distracted. ‘S what I get for being defensive before I’ve even posted.

        Anyways. I enjoy this writer’s works and their phrasing. And what you mentioned about that odd hoard and how the first response to it began just… It reminded me of this passage.

        The writer refers to the fic as the Sailor Moon Goddamn Rich People AU, and I want to just copy paste the passage because I don’t know a better way to say it. But I’m not the writer. And I don’t have permission to share that.

        The bit is from Rei – Mars – right after telling off an asshole who knows her personally enough to say something to hurt her when she doesn’t cooperate. And after she verbally wrecks the ass she’s walking away, back to her friends. And the author slips in Rei’s two pet crows – named for the sons of Aires, Phobos and Deimos – from the original manga. Rei has this line, where she’s thinking about theses two crows who’ve made a nest outside her apartment, and how the crows collected in their best everything shiny and pretty, even if those things were other people’s garbage. To the crows that didn’t matter. And Rei thinks of how some very few, very nice mornings she wakes up with the sun on her face and beautiful reflections all over the walls of her bedroom. Her very next thought is supposing that Treasure is different for everyone.

        To bring this melancholic and distracted comment back around to some kind of meaning; I think for the survivors of MCO it’s like that, same way it is for survivors of any other war and tragedy. You find humor where you can so you don’t go crazy and because that’s how people are built. And in the end humor already is different for everybody, isn’t it?

        Liked by 2 people

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