Monstrous Compendium Ch 13 Ficbit – Big Brother

“How are your parents taking being grandparents this young?”

Kirito couldn’t help it. He groaned, dropping his head to the bar.

Asuna giggled. “For him, it gets worse.”

“Worse?” Klein’s words were slightly muffled by Kirito’s determined meeting of forehead and polished wood. “Wait, don’t tell me you told them about Yui and they don’t like her!”

“Oh no.” Another giggle from his girlfriend. “They like the idea a lot. They never had time for it here in Japan, but Mrs. Kirigaya wants a whole house full of children.”

“Um, okay…?” Klein ventured.

Kirito sighed, and lifted his head. Better to get it over with. “Mom and Dad both like the idea. So they plan to take in orphans like Recon… and they made younger avatars. We’ll see if they translate on the other side. If they don’t alter much else – Argo thinks there’s enough magical similarity that it could work.”

Klein blinked at him. “How much younger?”

“Your age,” Kirito admitted.

“You mean-” Klein cut himself off, eyes wide. “They want kids. Oh my god, a whole clan of baby Kirigayas?”

“Aincrad will never know what hit it,” Agil agreed, grinning.


52 thoughts on “Monstrous Compendium Ch 13 Ficbit – Big Brother

  1. Well, that’s a new twist. As the saying goes about relative age and which two of the three factors (time, money, and energy) one has, this appears to be an end-run around it and have all three. And being old enough, they’re already past the learning stage that young couples suffer through, so should actually be able to make the best of it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I would argue they’re a little off base considering that they’d be inheriting from a different set of biological parents than Kirito but then I remember Suguha and it’s “If it’s not nurture then the nature comes from their respective mothers’ side of the family so yeah it might be true.

    Which is a fun though. If somewhat terrifying.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. *“You mean-” Klein cut himself off, eyes wide. “They want kids. Oh my god, a whole clan of baby Kirigayas?”

    “Aincrad will never know what hit it,” Agil agreed, grinning.*


    Liked by 2 people

  4. Wow, I didn’t expect the Kirigaya’s to be that enthusiastic/serious about going to Aincrad. Mom and Dad look to be planning on seriously putting down roots.

    The Sword Arts Offline Omake from the anime series has Kirito and Asuna discussing having children during one of the sketches, and Asuna says she wants a big family, literally enough for Raid.

    Considering all that magic and potions stuff when it comes to healing, women with skills or access to such resources ought to be able to control their reproductive health. Contraceptives, medicine to handle menstruation, pregnancy monitoring, fertility treatments/tracking, abortificants… Aside from societal or religious taboos, women with access to these resources would seem to be able to enjoy complete sexual freedom. They could liase however they wished, if they wished, without needing to fear becoming pregnant unwillingly/unwittingly.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well…..yes and no.
      An adventuress, swimming in liberated monster gold, sure.

      But most demi humans in any d&d world will never see enough money to buy /any/ potions of anything in the standard d&d ecconomy. Peasants get paid in copper and not much of it.

      There are lots of potenially great things in that set of fantasy worlds…but the baked in crushing poverty most humanoids live under, not so much.

      But the citizens of aincrad /are/ ‘monsters’. So theres a good chance of having significantly more gold than neighboring peasantry.

      I imagine this doesn’t really help relations much. Maybe the clearers can do something about that, too.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. There are lots of potenially great things in that set of fantasy worlds…but the baked in crushing poverty most humanoids live under, not so much.

        Always drove me nuts– I know why they did it, but it’s really bad world-building, when they SHOW people who use modern methods to improve outcomes.

        In reality, that would cause a magical industrial revolution.

        Which would make the average guy a LOT better off, even if he can’t throw a fireball and is still prey for orcs.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Seriously, if people did the research, they’d find the “typical Middle Ages setting” should actually have a LOT of tech in it, up to and including watermills to run forges….

        (This was actually part of the inspiration for Pearl of Fire, BTW – if you can manipulate the elements, particularly if you can move heat where you want it, many things are possible!)


      3. Actually, Eberron is explicitly early-industrialization, magic-style, and wages and resources are better than average fantasy. There’s just more of a lack of high-level magic-users and clerics to get items and spells from. Which is soon going to change.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. /But the citizens of aincrad /are/ ‘monsters’. So theres a good chance of having significantly more gold than neighboring peasantry./
        While Foxfier and Vathara cover most of the points, there is one important aspect you bring up.

        That Aincrad is populated by monsters. Why is this important? Well think of all the various fancy gribble-based magical reagents in D&D, not including the stuff like the 5,000 gp diamond for raise dead. Minotaur fur, medusa blood, harpy feathers, werebeast fangs etc etc etc

        Where normally the adventuring party has to venture out into the wilderness and fight a pitched battle against a monstrousity to collect it’s skin, blood etc, here (depending on the reagent) it would be closer to “Oh dear, we’re out of sugar. Honey, could you go ask the neighbors if we could borrow a cup?”

        Liked by 2 people

      5. My plotbunnies wonder if this was part of the human/demon conflict in the fantasy world of “The Devil is a Part-Timer” – human adventurers keep coming looking for components, and finally one demon gets the whole bunch organized….

        Liked by 2 people

      6. Trantos’s comment reminded me of “Tweeny Witches”, where the witches are facing a crisis because they’ve been hunting/capturing the magic mats creatures to extinction in the wild. Cue the plucky young protagonist witch who comes up with “catch and release”…

        Liked by 1 person

      7. It’s also a part of the game system and setting in Ars Magica. You can go hunting for mats from various sources, and get a small supply at once. Or you can look for a renewable source, and gain a regular but usually tiny income. And if you overharvest, it can actively make a location “less magical” and thus risk ruining the sources there (and make everything else more difficult). You can also work to increase the magical nature of an area, and potentially bring in more renewable sources of mats in the process, tho that’s a major undertaking. But a lot of the renewable sources are described in fluff in “catch and release” fashion, while the one-time harvests are described in more permanent fashion in the fluff.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. women with access to these resources would seem to be able to enjoy complete sexual freedom.

      Tch. Such small thinking.

      What it would do is revolutionize the political assassination industry and greatly expand the options for genociding people whose stuff another nation wants.


      1. One of those comments was small thinking. It was not the first one.

        Also, not so much. Delivery of potions and such in a way that kills is no easier that delivering say, a nice silver cyanide coctail; For all that killing people is embarrassingly easy in our world..that doesn’t really happen save as an outlier. It’s generally far simpler and easier to just stab/shoot someone, and since you are going to be going through lots of bodyguards who can check for that sort of thing? You want the simplest and easiest weapon you can get.

        As far as genociding goes…

        bluntly D&D has far far better options for that, and there tend to be…reactions. Violent ones. Which occasionally involve /deities showing up personally to cast mass Resurrection and hand out the smiting/.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The original comment specifically mentioned abortifacients.

        So you don’t make a potion that kills the adults, you make one that kills all of their children before they are born. Dump it in the water supply or something. How long before people realize that something is wrong?

        Doing this to a ruling family might be harder, depending on whether they have someone on hand to cast purify food and drink at every meal.

        … whatever. It’s not worth arguing about.


      3. *Facepalms*


        Okay, someone doesn’t understand morality checks and balances and paladins and Divine Creatures landing on top of you to do mayhem, which is what would happen if that were tried in a D&D world.

        From a purely practical viewpoint, said potion would be a distinction without a difference, because prior to the modern age, all abortifacients were toxins that stood a good risk of killing the woman as well.

        And why, why, does anyone want to seriously consider genocide in a fantasy setting? Can’t people save that for zpocs or other dystopic fiction?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yeah, probably.

        The gods are mostly for decoration in the only campaign world I’ve ever played in.

        *shrugs* I wasn’t trying to make suggestion for “things that a DM should allow”, at any rate, because making abortifacients on any scale is a monstrous idea.

        Sorry, anyway.

        Liked by 1 person

    3. Whatever else happened in Aincrad, it got Kirito to finally get his head on straight that his family loved him and he could get past the whole “we didn’t tell you you were adopted” thing. Can’t be too bad a place.

      …Besides. Midori’s a programmer, and Draconic is fascinating.

      Liked by 3 people

  5. RIP Aincrad. I wonder did the draconic prophecies foretell this approaching doom? Just imagine them having a house full of children… and Kirito ends up becoming their role model. Who could foresee the damage that would cause? Although Stheno might have a fun time with that… as would the Cockatrices most likely. Those tiny, fluffy, warm packages of happiness would probably be happy to have more Kirigayas to cuddle with.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. There are also those who would misuse potions. Could there also be those out there that had potions that ensured that the date-rape potion they used would have additional consequences nine months down the line, or some kind of magical STDs?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, well, misuse of such things is always possible. If you have, or can get access to the proper skills/skilled people, scrying should at least manage to uncover the wrongdoing.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh my. Between the elder Kirigayas filling their house with orphans and blood children and Kirito and Asuna filling their home with adoptees and blood children Klein is exactly right about what’s going to happen. And Fuurinkazan and the guild’s in general are like starter clans already.

    But past all of that, the odds are good that their going to produce a lot of kids who can handle the blood of Cato. This may be the rebirth of the medusa just from one clan alone. Stheno will be pleased. And maybe Kirito will actually accept a second adoption. Might not, but his own family is obviously supportive enough of his opportunities and can talk to him about it.

    Huh. I don’t remember but did his parents know why Kazuto suddenly drew back from the family when he was ten? Or was this something that he brought up after he got out?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Canonically, Kirito confronted his stepparents when he discovered his adoption, and they confirmed it. Suguha only learned about the adoption during the SAO crisis, because they felt she deserved to know as well. Presumably to explain what had caused Kirito to become so distant, in case Kirito never woke up.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That could also become very “interesting” in the Chinese sense. Certain factions went to a lot of trouble to try to destroy Aincrad, and prevent any resurgence of Moonswords. A bunch of… warlocks, I think was the “proper” term appearing out of nowhere, especially with a repertoire of frightfully effective and flexible spells will generate some alarm…

        Liked by 3 people

  8. Ah, Kirito, my boy… You’ve graduated to that stage of life where your parents stop seeing you as a kid, and *start* seeing you as a Grandchild Generator. You’re doomed now, son. Don’t worry, you’ll learn to enjoy it… eventually. 🙂

    Entire raids made up of Chibi-Black-SwordsPersons and Chibi-Lightning-Flashes…. that’s utterly adorifying.
    (Do Red Dragons go to PTSD therapy? I think one is about to start….)

    Kirito buried under piles of adoring younger siblings who want to follow in his footsteps… I need popcorn.

    Yui being “big sis” to mob of next-gen Kirigayas… agh, my teeth are rotting!

    Asuna cheerfully managing a mob of chibis who mostly bear some resemblance to herself and/or Kirito… why do I want to see this so badly?

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Don’t forget Suguha and Recon. She’s going to be watching how Asuna and Kirito get treated by the parents in regards to independence/permissive behaviors, and assuming she sticks with Recon, will be wanting those standards applied to her situation.

      Hmm, she’ll probably have to face down some disappointed Swanmay females.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. /and they made younger avatars. We’ll see if they translate on the other side. If they don’t alter much else – Argo thinks there’s enough magical similarity that it could work.”
    “Your age,” Kirito admitted./
    -double checks-
    So they’d be 24 while Kirito is 16 and Asuna 17……the family dynamics and genealogy are going to be interesting/messed up.

    And if Kirito’s lucky, they won’t go Youkai resulting in his ranger empathic abilities being unable to detect the two undertaking various…..activities. Because married or not, I doubt he really wants to be able to tell when his parents are hard at work seeing about giving his and Suguha younger siblings.

    /The plotbunnies say that the Kirigayas and Fuurinkazan (and others) will be enough to get the Dragonmarked Houses to sit up and take notice. /
    Klein is probably going to cause a massive rift in the Church of the Silver Flame all by himself. I mean, Jaela Daran will most likely be fine with him since it was the Flame that chose him as a paladin. The rest of the church is probably going to be split between “the Flame chose him, maybe we need to re-examine our actions” and “the Flame couldn’t have chosen a creature of Evil. It must be a deception in order to corrupt/assassinate the Keeper of the Flame”.

    Though I can’t see why the rest of Fuurinkazan really stands out aside from the humans and Youkai working together thing (assuming they hadn’t all become Youkai by level 75).

    As for the Kirigayas, yeah. An ever growing clan of highly inventive spell crafters and spell slingers (more often than not, both at the same time) would give the Five Kingdoms all kinds of ulcers.

    And considering that Midori’s specialty is in programming and electronics I can see her focusing on magical items. In that they are machines performing certain tasks based on the runes (circuity) channeling magic (electricity) in particular fashions.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Doesn’t said species tend to do the one or two children per century thing?

        The ‘interesting’ aspect I was referring to was the fact that the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ heading the clan would be less than ten years older then their children.

        Liked by 2 people

  10. So here’s an idea.
    If they can translate to a younger age, then they can advertise in Retirement Homes.
    And for that matter, hospitals… and veterans hospitals.

    Many of them would be perfectly happy to settle in a new place, if it includes a self-upgrade.

    This also means you’d have a much deeper well of experience to pull from.
    Teenagers are all well and good, but 50 years of experience in whatever profession isn’t anything to sneeze at either.

    It’d be like R.E.D. movie with magic.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. There was a mil-scifi novel with that premise, where only retirement age people were recruited for an interstellar war. Recruits would be rejuvenated iirc.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Scalzi’s Old Man’s War.

        It wasn’t rejuvenation, they were transferred to genetically modified clones. Of his novels that I have read, by far the strongest. (It was his first novel.)

        I had also thought of Old Man’s War when I read of that comment.

        Liked by 3 people

  11. Imagine the way this could screw with Klein’s head.

    Klein: “Wow, look at that babe!”

    Dale: “Klein, you know that rule about not checking out a Bro’s sister?”

    Klein: “Yeah, wait, is that your sister? Sorry, I didn’t realize…. wait I know for a fact that you don’t have a sister!”

    Dale: “Well, I was just thinking we might want to expand that rule to include grandmothers as well…”

    Klein: o.O

    Liked by 5 people

      1. /It’s going to be more of “you’re part of the family” than parent/child, yeah. /
        Yui’s going to be spoiled for aunts, uncles cousins etc.

        Though first Argo, Klein, Kirito and Asuna need to navigate the minefield of explaining to the little girl just why they’d been avoiding her all that time. Because she was probably completely miserable about the entire group basically just up and vanishing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. /Yeah, that won’t be fun./
        Particularly if the ALO avatars they are using for the crossover are human or not. I mean I can understand the ones that became Youkai preferring to chose such forms but that might not be an option:
        / If they don’t alter much else – Argo thinks there’s enough magical similarity that it could work./
        The magical similarity aspect is the key here. While avatars like Leafa or Sakuya presumably have been ‘lived in’ enough for magic to forge the link, the SAO survivors (along with the Kirigaya parents) most likely haven’t had the proper amount of time ‘living’ as said inhuman avatars to make the connection.

        Ergo use human avatars, modded to look as much like the IRL version of themselves as possible.

        Hopefully Yui’s managed to get a hold on her (justifiable) issues with humans because she’s only met Asuna as a draconic nd Klein as a weretiger.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’d argue that last point. As a psionic, Yui can and has witnessed others’ memories before – e.g. Stheno’s traumatic flashback with the psiwasps.

        Viewing Asuna and Klein’s memories from when they were human would be no different.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I wonder if Thinker and Yulier will want to go to Aincrad as well. They would do well in representing non-predjudiced humans able to treat Youkai as comrades and equals.

    Though it might be better for them overall to stay in Japan and act as a counter to the likes of Kibaou and his anti-youkai/clearer sentiments. To be examples of players with magic who stayed human, and thus less “alien”. Were both of them Moonswords though, or just one of them?


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