Found this on Tumblr and had to share.
https://lhaewiel.tumblr.com/post/670272969900228608/woppy42-this-thread-on-brachs-turkey-dinner
The author reaches Shakespearean levels of insult! Such as this gem:
“Bottom middle is green beans. Friends, it is unforgiveable. If you left a cup of green tea on the porch in bad weather for a week, during which time it attained sentience and promptly began plotting your demise, and you hate green tea, that’s what this tastes like.”
…This is how you properly insult someone without ever using foul language. Writers take note!
lols, yeah, that one is always a joy to read, even if you’d have to pay me A LOT to actually eat those things if they taste even a little bit how she describes them! ^___^
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahahaha!!! Without ever using a single bit of foul language, and still laying out some very awesome beat downs. Absolutely amazing! Thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think the best part, for me at least, was that after a heart-felt and eloquent explanation of just how bad the candy corn is…
They then rate it five-stars, and recommend buying a bowl of it to inflict on other poor souls without due warning.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Obviously vying for entry into the Anime Pranksters Hall of Fame.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s right up there with throwing Skittles, M&Ms, and Reese’s Pieces together in one big bowl.
Woe, to the one who fails their perception check roll.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Meep!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ve got friends who did the skittles and M&M’s, because they liked that. You just have to pay attention to which are brighter colors, because those are the skittles.
LikeLiked by 3 people
But that only would be a problem if people were eating huge handfuls at a gulp. Normally one gets a handful of those candies and eats them one by one, because the whole point is that the colors and/or flavors are individually enjoyable.
Gotta say that I’d save Skittles until the end, as a palate cleanser, but blending chocolate, peanut butter, and orange wouldn’t be too cursed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So it’s a very targeted prank, I guess. You’d have to know who eats candy handfuls at a gulp. Which of course is quite a few people I know, now that I think about it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think it might be less narrowly targeted than you’re thinking? I don’t get the impression eating them individually is the most common approach, though I could be wrong. Even though I still like to sort my M&Ms by color, I enjoy having a handful at a time on occasion, or at least several — and if it’s some sort of party where I’ve got a scoop in a napkin in my hand or something instead of on a plate, I’m likely to go through them faster to prevent excess stickiness transfer — and I don’t like Skittles.
LikeLiked by 2 people
And, uh, you said that. Well, the less targeted part. Sorry.
LikeLiked by 2 people
*helpless giggling* The three nearly identical colors are really sort of terrifying. At least you can dodge the green bean. With those, I’m not sure how much any amount of forewarning could help.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, the indescribable agony of my poor digestive system, as I‘m rolling on the floor holding my tummy…
while laughing my ass off.
Stuff like this might be why I’m not too fond of a) artificial flavors, and b) gummy sweet chemical waste a.k.a fruit loops and its like…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Grrr. Stupid HTML-formatting…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I dunno… mixing Skittles, M&Ms, and Reese’s sounds like exactly the kind of thing certain friends of mine might do for parties, trolling for reactions.
They’d *definitely* do it with Halloween candy, if anyone would be willing to accept candy that wasn’t factory sealed….
And, on a totally unrelated note, something that bobbed to the surface of my mind just from the post title: https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/advice-and-trust-nge.8768/post-9856443
(yes, it’s an Evangelion story, but there’s no depression or angst at all)
LikeLike
I did a taste test video of that bag of abomination and sent it to my friends and family. 🙂 I actually liked the apple pie and cranberry. Not in terms of them tasting like their representative food but by actually tasting decent and sweet. I put the rest back in the bag and we had my nieces and nephew decorate gingerbread houses with them. XD One niece ate a green bean and liked it! That’s a five year old for you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
*Thumbs up!*
LikeLiked by 1 person