Found this on Tumblr and had to share.
The author reaches Shakespearean levels of insult! Such as this gem:
“Bottom middle is green beans. Friends, it is unforgiveable. If you left a cup of green tea on the porch in bad weather for a week, during which time it attained sentience and promptly began plotting your demise, and you hate green tea, that’s what this tastes like.”
…This is how you properly insult someone without ever using foul language. Writers take note!