Been a little under the weather, and part of that has been reading various Kindle samples of alien romance. You know, light, fluffy, something to amuse a tired brain… So I thought I might reprise this post in case we have any amused fanfic cover artists out there.
In – ahem – honor of Amazon constantly putting an advertisement for their latest paranormal alien romance at the bottom of my “recommended” emails, I propose people consider how said alien paranormal romances might be written in-universe, in the Stargate setting. Have some titles!
Captured By the First Prime
The System Lord’s Slave
The Queen’s Choice
Ha’taks and Honor
Bound By the Tok’ra
Coils of Apophis
Like a Zat to the Heart
The Blue Book of Love
A Token for the Tok’ra
The General’s Alien Mate
False God, True Bride
Haunted by Hathor
Love? Ra, Ra, Ra!
Getting to Know Yu
Hunted By Heru’ur
(Any title with Ba’al’s is probably NSFW.)
Not to mention the sizzling trilogy, Forbidden ‘Gate, ‘Gates of Love and Duty, ‘Gate to My Heart.
And don’t leave the Asgard out of the fun! How about, Hammered By Thor, Tricked By Loki, Fettered By Freya?
Picture Indy Jones!outfit Daniel Jackson, with Sha’re clinging to his leg a la slave outfit Leia. Jack in a torn black t-shirt, cammo pants, and way too many weapons harnesses, fending off Hathor in a lab on fire! Or a topless Teal’c, bridal-carrying Major Carter with long tumbling blonde hair, almost out of uniform.
Thrill to the descriptions of daring SGC doctors trapped behind enemy lines with injured alien soldiers, using all their medical skill to heal their wounds – and their wounded hearts. See how these romantic heroines handle their… staff weapons!
(Picture a furious General trying to track down the intelligence leak. Sam making notes of all the – ahem – classified data evident in the books, a la those poor guys analyzing The Hunt for Red October, head buried in her hands. Daniel arguing for an academic analysis of the influence of alien cultures on modern literature. Various SGC technicians trying to hide the paperbacks whenever SG-1 walks by. Janet steadily accumulating a confiscated pile of pulps.
Teal’c: “The details of the intimate encounter between the Jaffa guard and the planetary captive are… surprisingly accurate.”
Jack, reading over his shoulder, snorting.: “Well, there’s no way that part is accurate.”
Teal’c: Raised brow.
And at least half the books are written by Sgt. Siler under a pseudonym. Hey, what else is the guy going to do waiting around for the ‘Gate to open all day?)
Feel free to take and run with these. Do cover mock-ups! Blurbs! Heck, write ‘em if you want! Take that, alien paranormal romance!
…Ahem. Maybe I should lie down now….