The Great Escape Ch6 bit: Not Even the B Team

~ crossovercreativechaos

“Eyaaauuuugh!”

A tall, blond young man in slacks and a bomber jacket who looked suspiciously like some of HYDRA’s old pictures of Captain America, minus the stars and shield, dusted off his hands and joined the rest of the redshirts from Con Security. “And stay out, you jerks.”

This, George thought glumly, picking himself and one of his groaning compatriots off the sidewalk, was possibly not HYDRA’s best day ever. He wished that surprised him. After all, it’d started off so well. MBI’s prize super-soldiers were on the loose, naïve and ready to be scooped up to the greater glory of HYDRA. No Japanese army to defend them, no killer satellite to cut troops down from the sky, and only scattered resistance from a SHIELD already battered and broken in the wake of the Chitauri invasion. All the various covert teams sent out had to do was follow the rumors of incredibly cute girls in shocking outfits who could polish off an entire sundae in one sitting. No problem. Even for Zed Team.

At least, George had thought it was no problem. Until he’d seen where they were assigned. Mullen had paled first. “We’re going to a sci-fi convention?”

Oh yeah. They were doomed.

A/N: Because even HYDRA has to have Minions With an F in Evil. *Halo*

29 thoughts on “The Great Escape Ch6 bit: Not Even the B Team”

  4. That A/N reminds me of some lines in a Naruto fanfic (I don’t remember which fic it was from, but it was amusing enough I copied it into my “interesting quotes” file to keep it):

    “I did no such thing!” Sakura replied with an air of dramatic innocence, a hand over her heart, “How could you even accuse me of such a vile thing?”
    “Because you suck at lying.” Sasuke said blandly.
    “I do not!” Sakura denied as Naruto gave her a patient look.
    “Sakura, you failed the Lying class back at the Academy. Even I passed that one.” Naruto said patiently as Sakura looked indignant.

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  7. Because even HYDRA has to have Minions With an F in Evil.

    Yeah, bound to happen in an organization that large.

    Would it be rude for the heroes to snark while watching footage of them?
    *watches*
    Tony: “I suggest you boys find a different line of work. Because you are not good at this minion thing at all. You are especially terrible at being evil minions.”

    Granted the bad guys often have trouble finding quality minions. (Probably because you want someone not prone to asking annoying questions and/or doing heel-turns which does tend to favoring brawn over brains in your hiring process.)

    MBI’s prize super-soldiers were on the loose, naïve and ready to be scooped up to the greater glory of HYDRA

    If that was your plan, I think it was doomed to fail from the start.

    Yes, a lot of Sekirei are pretty naive but unless their Ashikabi is also incredibly naive, someone is going to a little suspicious of you.

    The only one who isn’t winged is Miya. You could try it. Good luck with that – I will watch from the safety on a bunker on the moon – which might been safe distance. So it’s not like you can become their Ashikabi. AND getting a Sekirei to stay somewhere they don’t want to be and do things they don’t want do without them killing you generally requires you holding their Ashikabi hostage . . . and you might want to be careful with that because most of them will cheerfully ripe you to pieces for threatening their Ashikabi at the first opportunity.

    Either HYDRA doesn’t know about Ashikabi. Or the powers that be did not give that little piece of mission critical data to the Zed Team.

    I also think that they don’t know that Sekirei (and their Ashikabi) are empaths.

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      1. They’re actually very good minions when it comes to being in the right place to break something to save the world.

        Which is good for the world and our heroes but probably makes them voted as “Minions Most Likely To Be Sent On A Suicide Mission” in the HYDRA personal polls several years running.

        Sorry, they just seem like the type of who are aiming for fearsome but coming off as annoying.

        And no, they didn’t get much info. HYDRA didn’t trust them with it. This was a mistake….

        Evil often sows the seeds of its own downfall.

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  12. Actually, a lot of hierarchical organizations have an unofficial slot for “that guy you can always blame if something goes wrong.”

    I suspect that these guys are just competent and loyal enough, yet stupid and unthreatening enough, that their bosses can always use them as a Bad Example, without them actually getting executed. Maybe they have some useful skills that make them inconvenient to off.

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    1. *G* They have a knack for actually stumbling into the right situation so nothing else succeeds in taking over the world before HYDRA does.

      Other than that, you are correct: Zed Team is to blame for it. 😉 Even if they were on another continent. ESPECIALLY if they were on another continent….

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  13. No Japanese army to defend them

    Just noticed that – another piece of bad or incorrect intelligence the brass has given the Zed Team. Because, as far as I can tell, the Japanese army has never really defended the Sekirei. It’s mostly been the Discipline Squad and the soldier types we see later that I believe are MBI private security. (And later the killer-stats) . . .

    Through given the size of the army taken out by the Discipline Squad, you would have expected that to be the work of an army, not five people.

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