The Ultimate Hardback of Ultimate Destiny

Sometimes you just run across a typo that gives you pause. I’d watched a Skallagrim vid on armor and how effective it sometimes isn’t against swords. Short version, even in full plate impact damage can still take you down and the spine of some swords can deliver a lot of it. Afterward I went down to check the comments, to see if there were any more interesting facts. Where I stumbled across a bit about, “only a few dozen armed novels fell on the field, the rest were taken as hostages.”

Yep. Armed novels.

Now, it’s pretty clear from the context the commenter meant to say “armed nobles”, and other replies went on as if he had. Still.

The image. Oh, the image.

You can see it, can’t you? The marching library, in their gay array of bright-hued covers agleam with protective clear wrap-arounds. Sunlight glows on the splendid tufts of bookmarks; in scarlet red, glittering beads, ominous dark leather. Rank upon rank, from Religion to Mathematics to Bibliographies, with the irregular forces of Fiction striking out to scout and harry the enemy. They sally forth, armed with the deadliest of weapons; rapier pencils, great cleavers of paper-cutters, rubber-band slingers, the clumsy but effective maul of a shelf support, and side-arms of glittering silver penknives. Together they ride the library carts, wheels screaming into the librarians’ beloved silence, and confetti carnage will reign supreme.

This is no place for fragile, puny pulps. This is the battle for the ultimate hardcover.

The heck with your wizard digging around in dusty old tomes and silent crypts to uncover long-forgotten lore. If he’s going to find actual, dangerous spells – then it should be a challenge.

AKA if your wizard hits the books, the books ought to hit back.

…I’m not sure if I’ve had too much caffeine, or not enough. Still. Armed novels, oh dear….