A/N: With apologies to Sir Pratchett, but it really does describe Sanzo….
“Kanzeon’s a System Lord,” Jacob said flatly. “She’s part of what we fight. Remember?”
“Yet from your own description, she has not been part of the System Lords’ battles for longer than many Tau’ri civilizations have existed,” Teal’c noted. “Who is Gyokumen Koushu?”
“A Goa’uld who got onto the planet about nine centuries ago,” Jacob said after a long moment. “She poached Ni Jianyi into her service – he’s one of Kanzeon’s spawn, in case you’re getting any delusions about what kind of creature she is. And then Koushu ran into Konzen’s pet, and the whole situation blew up.”
“Take it you mean that literally,” Jack noted.
“Pretty much. For some reason the Asgard didn’t like the situation, and….” Jacob turned up empty hands. “Kanzeon lost a lot of lesser Goa’uld that day. Konzen included.”
“And the youkai?” Sam asked.
“Never heard from again,” Jacob shrugged. Looked the general in the eye. “You’ve got to hold Genjyo here. If we can keep him alive, we can finally figure out-”
“You’re lying,” Daniel blurted out. Oh, not a good thing to say…. But it was so obvious. Like nails scraping down a chalkboard. How could Jacob even imagine they were fooled? Think, think; you can’t catch him out on that one, but earlier- “You said Konzen died for his pet. Why would the Asgard shoot a child?”
“They didn’t.” Sam’s voice was quiet, with terrible surety. “Selmak did.”
Jacob drew himself up, face cold. “There were reasons.”
“And we’re all dying to hear them,” Jack said with mock lightness.
“Sorry,” Jacob said, in the level tone that meant he wasn’t sorry at all.
“Jacob-” the general began.
“Council business, George. It’s not going to happen.”
Hammond nodded once. “Then this discussion is over.”
The general pushed a button to signal the guards outside. “Security will escort you to your quarters.”
“You’re making a mistake,” Jacob insisted, as a sober airman entered. “And it’s going to be a big one.”
“The terms of our alliance with the Tok’ra,” General Hammond said flatly, “are for there to be a free and open sharing of information between us, as allies. You’ve deliberately lied to us about Shangri-La, about the zatarcs, about the sutra, and about your plans for them all. Given you’ve been pursuing the System Lords for over two thousand years, it may be that Byzantine dealings are endemic to the Tok’ra as they are all the Goa’uld-”
“-But so long as the Stargate has been open, Earth’s survival has been threatened on a yearly, if not weekly, basis. We are not going to be played with, Jacob. We don’t have the time.” He nodded at the airman. “Enjoy a quiet evening, Ambassador.”
“This isn’t over.” Granting Hammond a nod, the Tok’ra turned on his heel and left.
“He’s right,” Jack said soberly, after the door closed. “If we don’t know what Sanzo’s using-”
“It’s biological,” Janet stated.
“Dr. Fraiser?” the general raised a brow.
“That’s why the Tok’ra can’t find it,” the doctor went on. “There’s no device to find.”
“The alterations in his DNA,” Sam realized. “But how-?”
“How, what, I don’t know,” Janet shrugged. “But his friends – or should I say, his pack – knows what Sanzo can do. And what it costs him.” She eyed them all. “Right now Hakkai’s gotten about half a bottle of Scotch down him, and last I saw, they were likely to finish it off.”
“He’s getting him drunk?” Jack said, disbelieving.
“I said he’d had half the bottle. He’s definitely not drunk.” She took a small cigarette out of a labcoat pocket. “And he and Captain Sha are both getting a good dose of a drug I’ve never seen before. Sha says it’s reasonably harmless to humans, like chocolate. I’ll need a full analysis to check that. But my preliminary results indicate that to someone with certain nonhuman genes, this probably has an interesting effect on regulating neural networks. Particularly calcium ion release. Which would fit with Sanzo’s blood work, the alcohol, and what Daniel told me about his diet.” She eyed the dried herbs, and put it away. “This is just an educated guess so far, but… Goku’s little disappearing trick with that staff? Sha says it’s energy manipulation. The same kind of thing the limiters hold in check. The kind Sha was afraid they’d block; that’s why Hakkai had his off. We know that healing and ribbon devices involve heavy use of the neurons. Alcohol stimulates calcium release inside the brain; that’s part of what makes it so damaging when people overindulge. It also tends to wipe out certain vitamins from the system… stuff you tend to find in a lot of fermented foodstuffs, whole grains, anything made with yeast, and citrus in general.” Janet shook her head. “He knows he’s not normal anymore, General. And they know. Hakkai’s treating him. I can’t blame Sanzo for wanting to get out of here. Essentially, he’s a hypoglycemic stuck with people who think sugar’s only something you use off-duty.”
“You’re kidding,” Jack said dryly. “Doc. Are you telling me we have a guy who’s one hundred percent, bona fide, knurd?“