Current Events: A Bit Off Key

I sometimes think half the trouble in my life has come from trying to be responsible. Under the current Covid-panic conditions, this seems to backfire even more than usual. Starting off with, I’m pretty sure I know exactly when and where I caught it, and that was being Responsible about making sure someone’s taxes were done….

But, let’s talk something more mundane. In this case, car keys. I need to get a spare, because Roommate’s truck is currently down for the count needing an engine replacement. (Yes, from them being Responsible. Long story, much argh.) And we’re currently trading off using my car. Two people using the same key is twice as much chance for it to get lost, so a spare seemed in order. And it didn’t seem like much to ask. After all, if car repairs are deemed essential because people need transport, surely car keys would be.

Turns out, not so much.

Walmart Auto division? They do the right kind of keys, but not my make and model year. Other local auto repair places? Nope, nope, nope, resounding nope – either don’t have the equipment or just not gonna. A local hardware store that shall remain nameless, but is supposed to have Helpful Hardware Folks? Oh yes, they could do it.

Me: “Great! I’ll be right-”

“But because of the Current Conditions, we’re not doing that, because the person who programs the key has to sit inside your car.”

Me: “…So you’re only doing curbside pickup of items?”

“Oh no! The store’s open, you can come right in!”

So you can go in and walk around the store until they decide to chase you out, but they’re not willing to sit in your car, even with the windows and doors open, long enough to program a key. Right.

So I called the last resort – the local Honda dealer. And I say that for a reason. It takes me a two-hour round-trip just to get there and back, never mind how much time I need to hang around while they fix things. Yes, I still snarl at the multiple go-rounds with Takata airbags, how’d you know?

So I call them. Busy signal. Persists.

Deep breath. Internet. Find website. Send email, on the order of, “I need to get a spare key, how do I do this?”

Return email: “Hi! I want to personally thank you for your internet inquiry and interest in our vehicle. I will be contacting you shortly regarding the Sonic Price of your vehicle of interest.”

Me: Head. Desk.

I did, eventually, get through to someone over in Parts, so I will be able to get a key made. Eventually. It’ll take being able to free up at least half a day, and it’ll probably have to wait until Roommate has her truck back. Because the way Murphy is perched on my couch eating popcorn, I could so easily see their key-making machine going “skreeeeekthonk!” and eating the key.

(BTW, Murphy – I don’t even have a couch. How are you doing that?)

I want normal again, darn it. This is ridiculous.